HOLY HOMEWORK

Catholic Ways to Combat Anger

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Shakespeare, Homer, the Farmers' Almanac and even early editions of The Book of Common Prayer warned us that the dog days of summer can make the oceans boil and our tempers short. However, with the invention of air conditioning, we can no longer blame the high humidity for our low tolerance of others. Even so, many would say that the world seems to have become more competitive and, consequently, more antagonistic, aggressive and angry. As Catholics, how do we deal with such hostility?

All of us can think of compelling strategies, but here are three effective ways to quell animosity rather quickly and charitably.

ONE: Separation

With an annual admission rate of over 100,000 and an average daily population of 14,000 inmates, New York's Rikers Island is among the biggest correctional facilities and, sadly, largest mental health institutions in the world. So how do the 10,500 officers and staff treat the inevitable outbursts of fury between prisoners? The answer is separation. When we are angry with someone, one of the fastest ways to stop our emotions from escalating is sheer space. Walking away is neither conceding defeat nor acting rudely. On the contrary, this is among the most altruistic behaviors we can demonstrate. When both parties have settled down, then cooler heads and more Christian solutions will prevail.

TWO: Silence

If someone is angrily shouting at us, we can try to appear composed and quiet. Naturally maintaining such silence in the face of spitting rage is no easy task. When people push us, our knee-jerk reaction is to push back. But remaining reserved will always turn the tables on our opposition. Eventually they will end up looking like the party who is out of control and we will be labeled as the statue of sanity. Should we keep still even if we are certain that our wild adversary is wrong?Yes.Why? Because angry people always think they are right. And since they do, there really is nothing to be gained by trying to reason with them or point out their errors. Anything we say will simply pour fuel on their fire. So it's better to remain quiet and pray that a friend of theirs will be able to point out their errant ways sometime in the future.

THREE: Laughter

This may seem farfetched but it works. Here is a personal example. Recently I had to visit a post office at a suburban location. Unfortunately I was in a rush mood and the employee on the other side of the counter was in a chatty mood. After sweating in a long line for more than 20 minutes while being forced to listen to one mundane conversation after another, I mistakenly thought that mentioning my urgency would speed up efficiency. Instead this only led to a patronizing lecture on the benefits of taking life easy which actually lengthened my transaction. So rather than engage this garrulous clerk any longer, I chose to chuckle and shrug my shoulders. This ended our verbal tug-of-war much faster than any arguments or accusations ever could. In the face of frustration I recommend that we simply smile and guffaw. Trust me. This will save oodles of time and tons of irritation.

For Holy Homework:

The next time we become aware of the poisonous sin of anger welling up in our hearts we can resolve to replace this deadly vice with one of the living virtues of separation, silence or a smile. Then, breathe deeply. Count to 10. And, in the Christian spirit of Rudyard Kipling, we can think of some other ways to keep a calm head while those around us are losing theirs and blaming it on us.

 

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