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The archdiocese recently published a Parent Guide to Human Sexuality, through three age-appropriate publications, geared to children ages 5 to 10, 9 to 14 and 13 to 19.
Each guide includes a section titled “Be Prepared! Answers to Commonly Asked Questions” and sections such as “Good News! What the Church Says and How to Explain It!” that cite Church teachings, conversation starters and activities for parents and children to begin a dialogue, as well as categories such as “Just for Moms,” “Just for Dads,” “Married Couples” and “Single Parents.”
The first part of each guide encapsulates the issues of the targeted age group: “Overview of the Years of Innocence,” ages 5 to 10; “Overview of Puberty,” ages 9 to 16 and “Overview of Adolescence,” ages 13 to 19.
The guide concludes with a compendium of “Resources to Make the Conversation Easier,” which includes a listing of Church documents and helpful websites.
“The longtime concerns of parents and guardians in this area have been heard,” Cardinal Dolan said in a recent letter to parents of the archdiocese about the guides.
“Too often, our youth are confronted with images and messages about sexuality that are distortions of the truth,” the cardinal added. “Too often, Catholic youngsters in our religious education programs encounter sex education curricula within their public schools that present messages contrary to the truth, beauty and meaning of human sexuality as God designed it to be—a gift!”
The guide’s primary author was Kimberly Quatela, the chastity education coordinator of the archdiocesan Family Life/Respect Life Office. The guide was produced in collaboration with the Catechetical Office, Superintendent of Schools Office and Safe Environment Program.
Mrs. Quatela said the guide’s target is on target with the universal Church’s celebration of the Year of Faith through Nov. 24, 2013. “The main aspect of the Year of Faith is really to catechize our people,” she said. “A lot of our parents weren’t properly catechized when they were children, and now they have children.”
“It’s the Church’s responsibility to recatechize them so that they can then bring up a generation in the authentic teachings of the faith.”
The age appropriateness of the guides is a key to their effectiveness, said Sister Veronica Sullivan, S.V., director of the Family Life/Respect Life Office. “We didn’t want to present anything that would step over or violate the innocence of a certain age group.”
That, she added, is why the ages of the three guides overlap. “The parent knows best when their child is ready to hear the certain message—only the parent knows best.”
One of the detriments of sex education in public schools, Sister Veronica added, “is the teacher decides when the children will learn a certain thing; the parents don’t have anything to say about it or are not included in that conversation. That, in our mind, is just a real injustice and an affront to the role of parents.”
Research has proven that “children want to hear the parents say, ‘I want what’s best for you. I want you to wait until you’re married because I love you,’” Sister Veronica said.
After two years and 10 drafts in the making, the initial printing of 12,000 guides was made possible through a $30,000 grant from the national Catholic publishing company Our Sunday Visitor.
The Parent Guide will be available to parents across the archdiocese in the near future through Catholic schools, parish religious education programs and parishes. Sample pages are available on the Chastity page of the website of the Family Life/Respect Life Office at www.flrl.org./chastity.htm. To order copies, contact Mrs. Quatela at kimberly.quatela@archny.org or (646) 794-3198.
In early December, priests and permanent deacons of the archdiocese will receive a set of guides.
A Spanish-language translation of each guide will be available next school year.
Cardinal Dolan commended the respective offices for their work on the guide that he hopes will encourage and support parents in their role as the primary educators of children.
“Understandably, parents and guardians feel ill-equipped, unprepared or completely overwhelmed by the daunting task of speaking to their children about human sexuality and have come to us searching for answers,” he said.
That was precisely why the guide was crafted, the cardinal said. “This guide clearly presents God’s plan for life, love, dignity and human sexuality, and opens the door to honest communication with your child in a way that is appropriate to your child’s age and development.”
Dr. Timothy McNiff, superintendent of schools, said the collaborative project should prove to serve families well. “Instructing children in the Church’s teachings regarding sexuality is a complex task,” he added. “The age-appropriate guidance the Parent Guide offers will help parents speak with their children confidently about this critical issue of spiritual, social and physical development.”
Sister Joan Curtin, C.N.D., director of the Catechetical Office, said the guide gets to the heart of catechesis. “The whole purpose of catechesis of any kind is to put the person in communion with the person of Jesus Christ, to help build that relationship with Jesus.”
One of the best ways to protect children is to empower their parents, “to help the children know what’s safe and what’s not,” said Edward Mechmann, director of the Safe Environment Program. The guide’s basic rules of safety and highlights about Internet safety and boundary issues, including how to maintain good, proper relationships with people, should be especially helpful, he said.
The user-friendly guide provides a comfortable platform for a constructive give-and-take between parents and children, according to Mechmann. “It’s written in a very accessible way. There’s no ambiguity. It gives good, helpful guidance. It gives the parents the ability to express clear, consistent messages in a way that they understand and in a way that their children will understand.”
The common denominator of all three guides, Sister Veronica said, is simply “love.”
The Church believes in parents, she said, “to be parents, that they are the best teachers of their children.”
“God will give them the grace,” Sister Veronica said. “Nobody is going to love their children like them. In light of that, the responsibility for educating their children is given them.”
