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Easter elates Immaculée Ilibagiza.
That is astonishing, considering that while the Rwandan refugee—now a member of St. Agnes parish in Manhattan—was home from university on holiday break in her native Rwanda nearly two decades ago, she sadly learned life as she knew it would never be the same.
On April 6, 1994, an airplane that carried the president of Rwanda was struck down above the capital city of Kigali in the central east Africa state.
The assassination of the Hutu president triggered three months of massacres of Tutsi tribe members throughout the country. Not even small, rural communities such as Ms. Ilibagiza’s village were spared from the house-by-house slaughter of men, women and children.
To protect his only daughter from rape and murder, her father demanded she run to the local pastor’s house for protection.
Without hesitation, the pastor boldly sheltered Ms. Ilibagiza, then 24 years old, and seven other women in a hidden, 3-by-4- foot bathroom.
For the next 91 days, the women huddled silently inside the close quarters as genocide raged outdoors.
A rosary her father had given her before she went into hiding calmed Ms. Ilibagiza considerably. With each grateful clutch of the beautiful beads she suppressed a bubbling bitterness that threatened her carefree spirit.
During the genocide, the sorrowful mysteries resonated with Ms. Ilibagiza immeasurably. Barricaded in the bathroom, she repeatedly asked herself how Jesus could forgive those responsible for his crucifixion. “The answer is, because he loves me and you, he wanted to defend us, he wanted to save us,” she said.
Three months after Ms. Ilibagiza went into hiding, the vibrant, 115-pound National University of Rwanda engineering student emerged from seclusion weighing a mere 65 pounds. In her weakened state she had yet another high hurdle to climb: learning about and coping with the brutal reality of the murder of members of her immediate family and the massacre of nearly 1 million extended family, friends, neighbors and fellows Rwandans.
Now, 19 years later, the rosary remains a refuge for the 43-year-old Ms. Ilibagiza as she spans the globe to share how she survived those 91 days in seclusion.
Ms. Ilibagiza, now a wife and mother of two children, is the author of “Left to Tell: Discovering God Amidst the Rwandan Holocaust,” published in 2006. Her latest book, “The Rosary: The Prayer That Saved My Life,” is scheduled for release, appropriately, Aug. 15, the feast of the Assumption of Mary.
Throughout her travels of talks, testimonials and retreats, as well as blogs, Ms. Ilibagiza promotes the peace that has propelled her to forgive those responsible for the Rwandan genocide.
Ms. Ilibagiza will host a daylong retreat at Notre Dame parish in the Morningside Heights section of Manhattan Saturday, June 8.
For those who want to forgive but are unable, “ask for help,” she suggests. “When you are not forgiving, when you are angry against people, it’s like drinking a poison,” she said.
“You don’t see it as it is. It becomes a sickness and it blinds you.”
It was while she was praying the Lord’s Prayer that Ms. Ilibagiza turned a page on her pain. She was struggling with the prayer because she felt “like a liar,” she said, particularly during the passage “Forgive us our trespasses as we forgive those who trespass against us.”
“It was like a red flag,” she said. “I am making a statement” and, at the same time, “I am lying to God, the one who looks into my heart.” And, to make matters worse, “He knows I’m lying to him,” she said.
“‘Let me be truthful,’” she inwardly commanded herself in an attempt to correct the deceit. She then asked herself, “‘How do I be truthful?’ …I literally went on my knees and asked God to help me.”
After Ms. Ilibagiza emigrated to the United States in 1998 she worked at the United Nations. Since that time she has established a foundation to help others heal from genocide and war. The Left to Tell Charitable Fund relocates Rwandan orphans and helps children of primary school age through college.
“Left to Tell” became a New York Times bestseller and, to date, has been translated into 17 languages and sold more than 1 million copies. The book received a Christopher Award for “affirming the highest values of human spirit” and has been added to the curriculum of numerous high schools and universities. Her story is also the subject of a documentary titled “The Diary of Immaculée.” A major motion picture is also in the works, she said.
When Ms. Ilibagiza contemplates Jesus’ crucifixion, “I feel like a spoiled child,” she said. “At Easter, I am resurrected like Jesus.”
Reflecting on her recovery, Ms. Ilibagiza assures all “if I can forgive, anyone can forgive. No matter what happens to you, there is always hope. Hold onto God.”
